It’s a classic for a reason. This book does an amazing job at explaining Family Systems, and explaining (with examples) Change Back Reactions. Lerner explains how the goal of a system is NOT to grow and improve necessarily, but to maintain homeostasis, hence why when a person does start to really grow and evolve, sometimes it’s our spouse or family members who can be the least supportive, because by growing and evolving, we’re rocking the boat, and how dare we do that!
When one person changes, the whole system will change, and the system will have to collectively decide how it is going to respond to the changes you’ve made. Sometimes they grow and change with us, sometimes they learn to simply accept and respect the new you, sometimes they devolve, hoping you will go back to the way you were.
